We are in Rome celebrating Little Bit’s 17th birthday. We were at a club the doc and I always liked and when the DJ played the American anthem for the fourth, it was drowned out by boo’s. Since we were also drowning in booze and good times, we apologized for our government’s foreign policy, provided our pissy VIP neighbors with bev naps and kept right on dancing. Right now, it is quarter ‘to eight, Little Bit and I haven’t yet been to sleep and even though she’s fighting her first hangover, she’s being a trooper and readying herself for the sights.

When in Roma, wear a fucking toga Baby!

Updated to add some poor quality iPhone pics from our drunken cigarette search during the wee hours. You have Little Bit trashed as hell flirting with cops (who are sooo much nicer than their American counterpart) and being goofy at Trevi Fountain. I think she’d just wished for a cute Italian boy to kiss. ;o)

When I moved to Dallas from New Orleans, everybody used to flip that I’d leave my car unlocked. I always thought it smarter to keep my car somewhat empty of valuables and unlocked in order to save a window in the event of petty theft. You’re already violated when somebody decides to rob your effort instead of working for their own stuff; why add insult to injury?

I think we could make a comparison to immigration. Some *cough* libertarian *cough* people want to lock the door into the U.S. Some people, like me, wish to leave it open. The problem is that the people wanting to lock it up never think about taking the valuables out of the fucking car. They think they can leave the video camera and iPod on the seat and lock the doors to keep “bad” people out. What they fail to realize is that even “bad” people rarely break into cars that haven’t the lure of an easy payday.

If we, as a country, get rid of some of the entitlement programs and regulations that make even business as usual seem like entitlements to those who haven’t the inclination to pay attention, we could leave our door unlocked. But as long as we allow our government to tax, spend and haphazardly ridistribute the fruits of our efforts, there will be those who demand an expensive, top of the line shitty security system that does nothing but annoy the neighbors.

The doc and Little Bit think this perfectly horrid but I fell in love with it. Where else but Texas can you find such a planter?

The doc and I had a great time in Las Vegas- at least until our car was pulling up to McCarran Airport and I realized that I lost my driver license somewhere at the Wynn. He started nagging me about my unorganized purse and teased that he would at least make it home. I replied that my purse was very organized considering (besides, it was intoxication, not organizational skills that caused me to leave the ID in a blackjack pit) and no ID is required to fly. He thought me wrong on both issues and we bickered all the way through the security line for terminal D.

When we arrived to the podium at the front of the first class line, the doc scooted through while I explained to the TSA agent that one could fly without a valid ID after submitting to a secondary search. A supervisor came over, said I was correct, marked up my boarding card and sent me through an empty security area. Guess who got through the line easier. Me. I didn’t have to pull out my liquids or anything.

So, from now on and until they make those x-ray machines the norm for security, I’ll be flying (domestically anyway) without ID. Of course, once those machines become the norm I will either route through cities without them or quit traveling altogether. It’s one thing to laugh about the things TSA might see, but it’s quite another to risk having your piercings (or tampons, catheter, colostomy bag, etc.) removed by overzealous assholes working for TSA.

From Dallas Morning News:

A Dallas County prosecutor was arrested Saturday evening after witnesses said he drove into a house and continued trying to drive the car forward, according to a Dallas police report. Thomas Andrew Gatlin, 43, has been accused of driving while intoxicated.

The assistant felony prosecutor sat in the car continuing to press the gas after he struck a house in the 18000 block of Misthaven Place about 7 p.m. Saturday, officers reported. One witness had to break the window with a hammer, lean in and shift the car into park. Then the witness turned the car off and took the keys out of the ignition.

Officers said Mr. Gatlin would not respond to questions, had bloodshot eyes and needed help walking. An open bottle of vodka was inside the car. He paid a $500 bond and was released from custody early Sunday.

Wow, $500 bond for driving through a home? We plebs should be so lucky if ever in the same position. Perhaps the prosecutor should have watched this video.

I’m in Las Vegas nursing a massive hangover and saw this absolutely stupid commercial:

Um, hello to the jackasses that make these videos, you’re not drunk unless you’re drunk. Ya’ll are a bunch of lying bastards and probably boring to boot.

Since Paulie posted a few, I thought it might be nice to get one of my favs up. This one is of Starchild and me. Starchild is wearing a lovely Lady Liberty gown and his sash says, “I Miss America.”

Update: Had to go to the Mac side of my laptop, but I found some more pics.

Early round of voting:

In an effort to rinse the republican lite taste from her mouth, Keaton shoots mouthwash provided by Stanhope team.

Steve Kubby & Doug Stanhope

post by Paulie

pics by - GE, I think?

Send me more if you got ‘em….

Andy with Glenn “Kane” Jacobs

The infamous badge

Mary Ruwart and me

Ahoy, prepare to be boarded!

Barr accepts Imperato’s endorsement

by Paulie

Me, GE and ENM on the radio

listen here