ROFLMAO @ thimbleriggers

Did anybody else LOL and then vomit a little in their mouths during the prez address? Here’s the text for those of you entertained by such bullshit:

I’ve decided to mark up the text and my words will be in brackets.

Good evening. This is an extraordinary period for America’s economy.
[No shit, Sherlock.]

Over the past few weeks, many Americans have felt anxiety about their finances and their future. I understand their worry and their frustration.
[I'm sure you're worried about the electric bill.]

We’ve seen triple-digit swings in the stock market. Major financial institutions have teetered on the edge of collapse, and some have failed. As uncertainty has grown, many banks have restricted lending, credit markets have frozen, and families and businesses have found it harder to borrow money.
[Credit worthy people- that means people with demonstrated ability to pay- are getting loans.]

We’re in the midst of a serious financial crisis, and the federal government is responding with decisive action.
[Government caused the crisis and we should trust it to fix it? ]

We boosted confidence in money market mutual funds and acted to prevent major investors from intentionally driving down stocks for their own personal gain.
[Haven't seen any confidence boost. I do see a shell game though.]

Most importantly, my administration is working with Congress to address the root cause behind much of the instability in our markets.
[Vomiting and can't speak...]

Financial assets related to home mortgages have lost value during the house decline, and the banks holding these assets have restricted credit. As a result, our entire economy is in danger.
[Weren't you the one who pushed home ownership?]

So I propose that the federal government reduce the risk posed by these troubled assets and supply urgently needed money so banks and other financial institutions can avoid collapse and resume lending.
[Print some more; that'll help I'm sure.]

This rescue effort is not aimed at preserving any individual company or industry. It is aimed at preserving America’s overall economy.
[Liar. Everybody involved is part of the Wall Street network. Class, can we say conflict of interest?]

It will help American consumers and businesses get credit to meet their daily needs and create jobs. And it will help send a signal to markets around the world that America’s financial system is back on track.
[False signal. It's more like the lighthouse keeper drunk sending a safe message to sea. It's sort of like that Harken stuff.]

I know many Americans have questions tonight: How did we reach this point in our economy? How will the solution I propose work? And what does this mean for your financial future?
[Correct there but many Americans have themselves to blame for caring more about reality TV than the nuts and bolts of our government.]

These are good questions, and they deserve clear answers.

First, how did our economy reach this point? Well, most economists agree that the problems we’re witnessing today developed over a long period of time. For more than a decade, a massive amount of money flowed into the United States from investors abroad because our country is an attractive and secure place to do business.
[Been building since the creation of the Fed.]

This large influx of money to U.S. banks and financial institutions, along with low interest rates, made it easier for Americans to get credit. These developments allowed more families to borrow money for cars, and homes, and college tuition, some for the first time. They allowed more entrepreneurs to get loans to start new businesses and create jobs.
[Things people used to save for and grow over time. Yet you seem to think more credit is needed?]

Unfortunately, there were also some serious negative consequences, particularly in the housing market. Easy credit, combined with the faulty assumption that home values would continue to rise, led to excesses and bad decisions.

Many mortgage lenders approved loans for borrowers without carefully examining their ability to pay. Many borrowers took out loans larger than they could afford, assuming that they could sell or refinance their homes at a higher price later on.

Optimism about housing values also led to a boom in home construction. Eventually, the number of new houses exceeded the number of people willing to buy them. And with supply exceeding demand, housing prices fell, and this created a problem.
[Good old supply and demand. Too bad Free Enterprise has been replaced with No Child Left Behind test taking.]

Borrowers with adjustable-rate mortgages, who had been planning to sell or refinance their homes at a higher price, were stuck with homes worth less than expected, along with mortgage payments they could not afford.

As a result, many mortgage-holders began to default. These widespread defaults had effects far beyond the housing market.

See, in today’s mortgage industry, home loans are often packaged together and converted into financial products called mortgage-backed securities. These securities were sold to investors around the world.

Many investors assumed these securities were trustworthy and asked few questions about their actual value. Two of the leading purchasers of mortgage-backed securities were Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
[Government created monsters which failed in due diligence.]

Because these companies were chartered by Congress, many believed they were guaranteed by the federal government. This allowed them to borrow enormous sums of money, fuel the market for questionable investments, and put our financial system at risk.
[It's generally a safe assumption that a government created entity is backed by the um, government.]

The decline in the housing market set off a domino effect across our economy. When home values declined, borrowers defaulted on their mortgages, and investors holding mortgage-backed securities began to incur serious losses.
[The not so free market was doing its best to correct itself.]

Before long, these securities became so unreliable that they were not being bought or sold. Investment banks, such as Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers, found themselves saddled with large amounts of assets they could not sell. They ran out of money needed to meet their immediate obligations, and they faced imminent collapse.
[As they should.]

Other banks found themselves in severe financial trouble. These banks began holding on to their money, and lending dried up, and the gears of the American financial system began grinding to a halt.
[As it should; at least until things auto-correct. It's sure to be painful but like ripping off a band-aid, it should be done quickly.]

With the situation becoming more precarious by the day, I faced a choice, to step in with dramatic government action or to stand back and allow the irresponsible actions of some to undermine the financial security of all.
[All will be better off without the smoke and mirrors but we'll never leave the magic show until it's over.]

I’m a strong believer in free enterprise, so my natural instinct is to oppose government intervention. I believe companies that make bad decisions should be allowed to go out of business.
[You've had much experience in that ballpark.]

Under normal circumstances, I would have followed this course. But these are not normal circumstances. The market is not functioning properly. There has been a widespread loss of confidence, and major sectors of America’s financial system are at risk of shutting down.
[Y'all aren't letting the MARKET function at all.]

The government’s top economic experts warn that, without immediate action by Congress, America could slip into a financial panic and a distressing scenario would unfold.
[True, but the experts are playing for both teams and can't be trusted.]

More banks could fail, including some in your community. The stock market would drop even more, which would reduce the value of your retirement account. The value of your home could plummet. Foreclosures would rise dramatically.
[Your house value doesn't matter if you're living in it. Or, are you talking about real estate investors?]

And if you own a business or a farm, you would find it harder and more expensive to get credit. More businesses would close their doors, and millions of Americans could lose their jobs.
[Covered earlier: the credit worthy will get credit.]

Even if you have good credit history, it would be more difficult for you to get the loans you need to buy a car or send your children to college. And, ultimately, our country could experience a long and painful recession.
[Not true and here's an article that mentions that there's actually been no credit crunch.]

Fellow citizens, we must not let this happen. I appreciate the work of leaders from both parties in both houses of Congress to address this problem and to make improvements to the proposal my administration sent to them.
[When y'all work together it's usually to rape the people. Bipartisanship is really incest between brother and sister.]

There is a spirit of cooperation between Democrats and Republicans and between Congress and this administration. In that spirit, I’ve invited Senators McCain and Obama to join congressional leaders of both parties at the White House tomorrow to help speed our discussions toward a bipartisan bill.
[If there's ever been a reason not to speed, it's the systematic theft of nearly $1 trillion from the producers of our country.]

I know that an economic rescue package will present a tough vote for many members of Congress. It is difficult to pass a bill that commits so much of the taxpayers’ hard-earned money.
[They did it easily for the unconstitutional war in Iraq.]

I also understand the frustration of responsible Americans who pay their mortgages on time, file their tax returns every April 15th, and are reluctant to pay the cost of excesses on Wall Street.
[Reluctant? Ain't gonna happen. I'll not file a tax return again if this is passed. Think Thoreau. And, I'm actually a tax payer.]

But given the situation we are facing, not passing a bill now would cost these Americans much more later.
[It's going to cost us more later if we do this. I mean, if these groups are too big to fail now, what's making them bigger going to do?]

Many Americans are asking, how would a rescue plan work? After much discussion, there’s now widespread agreement on the principles such a plan would include.

It would remove the risk posed by the troubled assets, including mortgage-backed securities, now clogging the financial system. This would free banks to resume the flow of credit to American families and businesses.
[Redundant shit but more credit is not the answer. Save like your great grandparents did.]

Any rescue plan should also be designed to ensure that taxpayers are protected. It should welcome the participation of financial institutions, large and small. It should make certain that failed executives do not receive a windfall from your tax dollars.
[Like the $47 million AIG's ousted CEO got in July?]

It should establish a bipartisan board to oversee the plan’s implementation, and it should be enacted as soon as possible.
[Then why this wording?]

In close consultation with Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, and SEC Chairman Chris Cox, I announced a plan on Friday.

First, the plan is big enough to solve a serious problem. Under our proposal, the federal government would put up to $700 billion taxpayer dollars on the line to purchase troubled assets that are clogging the financial system.

In the short term, this will free up banks to resume the flow of credit to American families and businesses, and this will help our economy grow.
[More credit to buy more shit that we didn't produce. Yay! Let's bailout so China can earn more!]

Second, as markets have lost confidence in mortgage-backed securities, their prices have dropped sharply, yet the value of many of these assets will likely be higher than their current price, because the vast majority of Americans will ultimately pay off their mortgages.
[So let those groups adjust the price appropriately and sell the paper to a group looking to make some cash. Surely there are some takers out there...]

The government is the one institution with the patience and resources to buy these assets at their current low prices and hold them until markets return to normal.
[No, the government is supposed to be the people that you are trying to rape. The paper is worth what it's worth when it's for sale to a legitimate buyer.]

And when that happens, money will flow back to the Treasury as these assets are sold, and we expect that much, if not all, of the tax dollars we invest will be paid back.
[The Fed is not the government and I've never seen a rebate check from the tax man.]

The final question is, what does this mean for your economic future? Well, the primary steps — purpose of the steps I’ve outlined tonight is to safeguard the financial security of American workers, and families, and small businesses. The federal government also continues to enforce laws and regulations protecting your money.
[I feel protected, LOL. Should have taken every dime to Vegas and bet the field. At least I hit a 12 there once and then had no problem getting paid.]

The Treasury Department recently offered government insurance for money market mutual funds. And through the FDIC, every savings account, checking account, and certificate of deposit is insured by the federal government for up to $100,000.

The FDIC has been in existence for 75 years, and no one has ever lost a penny on an insured deposit, and this will not change.
[Considering that every dollar the government gets is provided by the people, who gives a shit about this claim? See Tocqueville.]

Once this crisis is resolved, there will be time to update our financial regulatory structures. Our 21st-century global economy remains regulated largely by outdated 20th-century laws.

Recently, we’ve seen how one company can grow so large that its failure jeopardizes the entire financial system.

Earlier this year, Secretary Paulson proposed a blueprint that would modernize our financial regulations. For example, the Federal Reserve would be authorized to take a closer look at the operations of companies across the financial spectrum and ensure that their practices do not threaten overall financial stability.

There are other good ideas, and members of Congress should consider them. As they do, they must ensure that efforts to regulate Wall Street do not end up hampering our economy’s ability to grow.

In the long run, Americans have good reason to be confident in our economic strength. Despite corrections in the marketplace and instances of abuse, democratic capitalism is the best system ever devised.
[Actually, a true free market is the best system ever devised. A free market is one in which anything of value can be bought, sold or bartered for anything else of value. Sadly, this country's never quite had a free market.]

It has unleashed the talents and the productivity and entrepreneurial spirit of our citizens. It has made this country the best place in the world to invest and do business. And it gives our economy the flexibility and resilience to absorb shocks, adjust, and bounce back.
[OK, I can't even keep going for this bullshit. OK George, I get it: Mission Accomplished.]

Our economy is facing a moment of great challenge, but we’ve overcome tough challenges before, and we will overcome this one.

I know that Americans sometimes get discouraged by the tone in Washington and the seemingly endless partisan struggles, yet history has shown that, in times of real trial, elected officials rise to the occasion.

And together we will show the world once again what kind of country America is: a nation that tackles problems head on, where leaders come together to meet great tests, and where people of every background can work hard, develop their talents, and realize their dreams.

Thank you for listening. May God bless you.

~ by Miche on September 24, 2008.