Lunch date with my nephew

My nephew had lunch with me today. He is 17 and recently moved from NOLA to Oklahoma which is 2 hours from me. He is a fine young man by any standard and has been blessed with a mother who was never the smothering type. He had driven (GASP! Alone!) to Dallas to fly to NOLA to see his dad and it was my job to pick him up from Love Field today. I was tired this morning so Little Bit picked him up for me before driving off (alone!) to Longview to surprise her daddy with a visit.

I was craving some crawfish. It’s not yet time for my boil and even though Christian was at a boil yesterday and has homework to complete tonight, he agreed to delay his departure to keep me company at lunch. As we sat BSing over gator, crawfish and “rat toes,” we talked about his life in general. He’s got a big spring- he’ll be 18 on April 13th, going to senior prom in the same month and graduating high school in May. He’s got a work ethic that would make many people my age shameful. He’s a gifted woodworker and has been trained since his toddler days in the art of self-sufficiency.

As I sat in awe of the young man he’s become, recalling memories of his infancy (he peed on me once when I tried to change his diaper), he shared with me his future plans. We touched on why it is that he’s such a good man and he credited his mother. He said that she didn’t smother him with bullshit rules- she gave him the freedom to make almost any decision for himself. He told me a story that he thought I didn’t already know. I did know because his closest cousins are my girls and they tell me nearly everything, but I let him go on without interruption.

He told me about driving a car at 13 without permission and with no license. My sister had purchased the car for him and let him drive around our hometown sometimes, but he’d taken it into a neighboring parish to go to the mall. He just had to buy a new pair of sneakers. While leaving, he backed into a car in the parking lot of Esplanade Mall. The car’s owner had little damage and offered to settle on the spot for a couple hundred bucks. He was already working for my father during the summers, had the cash in pocket, didn’t want his mother to find out and so paid the money. He laughed today that it was the most expensive pair of shoes he ever bought. He wore them until they were worn with holes. He said he learned about responsibility that day. It appears that he also learned a bit about guilt and honesty because he shared that it was the only lie he ever told to his mom. She still thinks he hit a fire hydrant in the neighborhood.

I’m sitting here now reflecting on the times that people criticized my sis for not being a strict enough mother and all I can do is laugh. Indeed, my heart is smiling because I see clearly in him what I knew all along. Kids don’t just become responsible adults on the 18th anniversary of birth. It is having the ability to make a choice- right or wrong- that teaches life’s lessons. I’ve no right to pride with regard to Christian’s manhood, but I’m proud as hell that he is a solid, strong, good man. I even forgive him for pissing on my nice dress.

~ by Miche on March 23, 2008.