I love me some Baptist preachers
From The Smoking Gun:
OCTOBER 8–An Alabama minister who died in June of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge’s death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge’s two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister’s rubber briefs. Aldridge served as the church’s pastor for 16 years. Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to “please refrain from speculation” about what led to Aldridge’s demise, adding that, “we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ.” (5 pages)
Now Alabama will never legalize dildos and wetsuits and rope may become black market items as well. And what’s a preacher using a condom on a dildo for? I thought condoms = wickedness for those people.
6 Responses to “I love me some Baptist preachers”
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Fucking hilarious!
[...] just called to let me know the real reason they won’t legalize sex toys in Alabama. From The SmokingGun: An Alabama minister who died [...]
lol @ dildos, condoms and wickedness…
“we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ.”
Ain’t it amazin’ how they react so differently to supposedly different kindsa peoples. Here we have a hypocrite who preached and prayed on Sunday and such, but had what he no doubt preached plenty against, wild kinky no-no sex … and the above is the mild and goofy reaction of his “brethren.” On the other hand, if some fine, intelligent (not Baptist), gay male doctor or lawyer dies in the same way, the response would be sooooo different, ya’ know? Yeah, in that case, fiery words of hatred and judgment would be hotly ricocheting from their podium and pews and all over their churchy place. Things like… “We payz for our sinz, yes we duz, Jay-sus sez so, oh-yeah, there’s yorn proof.” lol
@ “church officials” : Doing the very thing you harshly condemn others for (all the while taking their money to buy your sex toys) is lower than low. Screw your healing for the moment. FIRST, you owe your congregation and the public a profound and HUMBLE apology… Then take that strong arm of Jay-sus and slap yourself silly until you stop harming others with your BS. Healing?
Jesus Chrysler, That’s a visual I could have gone a long time without.
[...] Hacker does not like this ditty little poem I found by way of Loretta Nall’s blog about the Gary Aldridge case. Oh well. The author is [...]
[...] Hacker does not like this ditty little poem I found by way of Loretta Nall’s blog about the Gary Aldridge case. Oh well. The author is [...]